I recently held some focus group meetings with small business owners to discuss the challenges they are facing in business, here are three common statements that I heard over and over about networking and my thoughts on what they can do.
1. “…I need to mix with like-minded business owners but i’m afraid to share with them what is really going on in my business, they might not think much of me…”
What many business owners fail to do is recognise that the challenges they are having are often the same that the majority of people in business face. Unfortunately in this world there are people that judge others on appearance and perception so it is understandable why many do put on a ‘brave face’ and tell others “everything is ok”.
If you are in “brave face syndrome” it’s really important for you to get out and meet people that you can be honest with. Does this mean you tell everyone you meet your challenges? Absolutley not, what it does mean is that you need to be able to source the right people that you can build trusting relationships with and develop a level of trust so that you feel comfortable with sharing your challenges.
Are these ‘trusted people’ easy to find? No, not always. Networking events and forums are not the place to ‘dump’ your problems on others, they are a great way to connect with other business owners and start the relationship process and exchange ideas. At many of these events you will meet people that can help you, you need to go with your trust radar on so that you can identify the people that can assist you, and in a manner that is beneficial not harmful or self interest driven. A great way is to really clarify in your own mind what the actual challenges are, for example if marketing is a challenge you might think about what specifically is the challenge, is it the research, the methods, budgeting, finding the right supplier, how to determine what works? The more you have clarity on what your chalenges are the easier it is going to find the right person to assist you.
More to the point people that usually have this thought have either run out of money, have over commited themselves or are emabrrassed that they are not turning over as much as they would like. The simple solution?
Get help. There are plenty of government agencies that offer free advice and there is plenty available on the internet. Alternatively engage a business consultant or a business coach to get you on track and can connect you with people that can help you with your challenges.
2. “…I hate going to events where I know there are clicky groups of people, it makes me feel inadequate and uncomfortable..”
Ok, here it is in plain english…. Get real and GET OVER IT!!!! Now that I have that off my chest here is some constructive information… You should never feel uncomfortable when attending a networking event, clicks will be everywhere you go it’s just a fact of life. We are taught it at an early age in the school playground, unfortunately not everyone grows out of it. You should only be attending networking events for one of three reasons; 1. to build business contacts and leads 2. to gain professional development or training and 3. for social interaction if you are feeling uncomfortable a large part will be because you are not clear on your purpose for attending.
Once you are clear on your purpose for attending you can develop a networking plan/strategy for while you are there to achieve your purpose. Now you can attend one event for all three reasons or for one or any combination, the thing to keep in mind is that some networking groups will offer all three and others won’t so you will need to determine which ones suit your needs the best.
Where there are “clicky” groups you will usually find that they have a prominance of the ‘social’ aspect to the groups purpose.
Something else to keep in mind – only you can make yourself feel uncomfortable! There may be environments that you don’t like or that have different values to your own that invoke those uncomfortable feelings. the key is to stay focussed on what YOU want not be worried about everyone else. Alternatively go to a different group that is in line with your values.
3. “…If only I was more outgoing or confident… I’d network more often”
I don’t believe you! I think that is a poor excuse for not networking. Ok so you might think that is a bit tough but that’s how it is. You are obviously good at what you do, otherwise you wouldn’t even be thinking networking is something for you.
Networking just like any other business related activity is something that gets easier with practice, there are thousands in fact millions of bits of information on how to be a better networker, be more confident etc on the internet just check in whith my friend mr google he will send back those millions of bits of information. A warning though information is only as good as it’s implementation!
If you really want results from your networking then there is only one guaranteed way forward and that is to simply do it and learn from each experience you have.
To your networking success!
Sue Henry