I just had a great question from a friend, she rang a little perplexed and asked “Why don’t some friends refer business?” She had just had a conversation with a friend of hers that works in a large corporate organisation that would have made an ideal customer for my friend. During the conversation she had the realisation that in all the years she had known this person (let’s call her Betty), Betty had never refered business to her.
Instead of giving my friend the first thought that popped into my head (professional jealousy – I also know Betty) I asked her had she ever had any conversations with Betty regarding her business or if she had ever pitched her business to Betty’s company? Two things came out of the conversation that followed 1. My friend hadn’t ever directly asked Betty for work and 2. Betty was professionally jealous of my friends success in business.
Often we miss opportunities because we simply fail to ask the people we already know and spend our time chasing new customers. Make a list of all the people that you call friends and family and ask yourself the simple question: Does this person know what I do? and Are they willing to refer me? Once you have your list of yes’s then you need to be educating them in who is your ideal customer.
The important thing that my friend realised was the fact that not all of her friends support what she does, in fact when we explored the situation further it wasn’t that Betty didn’t want her to succeed it was that Betty would like to be in her own business but does not (is not willing) to do what it takes. So the fact is Betty is unwilling to refer my friend because if she does in Betty’s mind it’s a reminder of her own failure to take action. The best thing my friend can do is change her own beliefs and thoughts about Betty and acknowledge that’s just how it is with Betty. I also reminded my friend of all our other friends that support her and refer business to her and encouraged her to focus on those. After all we do get what we focus on!
The harsh truth is there are people like Betty in the world and there are probably Betty’s in your circle, as there are in mine. Wish them well, smile and graciously put aside your dissapointment at not being referred by them I’m sure there are many that want to help and refer you!
Keep smiling !
Sue 
